A moment in the life of a special needs mom

Isaac grabbed my hand and led me out the side door with no words.

He just smiled and looked up at me.

I was actually in the middle of eating dinner. Jeremy made his homemade tortillas that we all love. Of course, Isaac had been in the living room watching his tablet at the time.
Sometimes he eats at the table if I give him rice, but usually it's a pricey pediasure and goldfish on the go.
I savor the times we all sit together at the table. Isaac even has a special chair at the head so he doesn't fall off the bench...again.
He doesn't know where he is in space like I do.

Normally, I would have told Isaac that I couldn't come out with him because I was still eating, but something in those dark brown eyes and pure smile had me going out the door.

I knew what he wanted before he brought me to his destination: the swing. The one he's getting too big for. He can't swing in a regular “big kid” swing. He doesn't have the balance or the understanding of pumping his legs.

But, unlike that moment, I don't always know what he wants. Or even if I do, he doesn't always understand or want to accept when I say “wait,” “no,” or “I understand, but I can't right now.”

So as I secured him in his swing, just me and him in the shade of a lazy summer day, I enjoyed every moment.

For once I didn't worry about my other children because they were eating with their daddy. I knew it could be just me and him.

Our conversation went something like this:
Me: swing! Swing. Do you like the swing?

He smiles with his fingers in his mouth.

Me: let's count! 1….1….what comes next? 1...2...3!

He sings

Me: You know more than you let on. You're smart.

He smiles

Me: when are you going to talk to us, bud?...that's okay, I'll talk to you.

So I talked about his clothes, his age, and small talk.

He just looked in my eyes, and I could see his joy and contentment. I could see that he knew I genuinely love him. And in moments like that, I feel that no matter if he ever learns his numbers, abcs, or how to speak in sentences, if he knows I love him? That's the all that really matters in the end.