Isaac is showing more and more progress towards walking and I couldn't be happier! We are trying to work with him, walking with him everywhere we go. Sometimes it is more convenient just to pick him up and go where I need to, but I try to be diligent because I know the harder I work, the better off he will be. (No pressure!)
This little guy is power.
I am so blessed! His smile brightens my day, not to mention everyone else's. I hope that smile NEVER fades. I still cannot go anywhere without comments from others. Love it.

I know this blog is sometimes a rant BUT I'm trying to be more grateful. I had an epiphany the other day. I was thinking of embarrassment, fear, pity, etc. that sometimes enters my life and how it can be wiped out by GRATITUDE.

Besides, it could always be worse ha ha.

Isaac wants to say something...

xs bn  hjgg fhj.vkbvkgbhm vhrthfnbgngyu

Yup, just like his mama.

Unexpected Things

As Isaac gets older I run into unexpected things-some good, some not so good.

1) I was at the doctor the other day and they were weighing him on the scale. Obviously he didn't feel good, so she was trying other ways to weigh him besides laying down. She told me he could stand up if that would be easier.

"He can't stand."

I just left it at that.

2) I was at my brother's house tonight. All of the normal things don't seem so normal when you are somewhere else. Food everywhere. He throws up from gagging. Very active.
Oh yeah, I guess I'm just used to it. It's hard not to get embarrassed sometimes or want to cry. Jeremy is good at laughing things off, but sometimes I don't want to laugh-not yet.:)

3) The physical therapist came over the other day. He has been planning on Isaac walking for a while now. I was starting to get discouraged with the progress, but then Mark, the PT said he is doing so well. Isaac showed off for him with skills I didn't know he had! Must be the PT's new toys. :)

4) The occupational therapist is staying with us longer than I thought. I am surprised and glad because I thought he was just going to come a few times because I wanted it. Last time he brought many different sensory toys and I was happy for another helper on our behalf.

5) We try not to make excuses for him or coddle him, but he still drinks lots of milk and it has to be warm. Sometimes we do things just to stay sane and I wonder how long it will last! Sometimes Jeremy and I wonder what we can expect from him, ya know? I still expect the best.

It's Been One Year

Yesterday we put our Christmas tree!

 I was so excited! I can't wait to give gifts later this month:) What a wonderful month!

The truth being, however, December last year was extremely hard for my whole family.

This is what started me thinking about it all. Isaac's little foot print.
About this time last year Megan Dillworth, Natasha Robbenalt, and I got together with our sweet little ones to do Christmas ornaments. We made impressions with little fingers and little toes in the white clay to form lasting memories.

It just so happens that on this day while I was at Sister Dillworth's I got a phone call from Dr. Hoggard. I didn't want to answer, but I did. I had to. I assumed it was the news I was waiting for after four weeks.
I don't remember exactly what he said, but I got it and I wanted to hang up immediately. He gave "condolences" in a way.
"Your son has Fragile X Syndrome."
That's not what I wanted to hear! I wanted to hear, "Congratulations! You have another healthy, normal baby!"

That was the day our lives changed forever.

I felt ridiculous crying (heaving sobs) when Megan and Natasha had no idea what was going on. I tried to buck up and be happy, at least for a short while. I was happy when it was time to go. I wasn't going to open up about that can of worms just yet. I was too devastated to speak.

But then I had to call all of my family members. I had to tell them what everyone feared, what Rachael already knew. I was embarrassed, heart broken, afraid, and so much more.

I'll never forget in despair that I almost thought the atonement could not reach me down there. But Jeremy reminded me that he is still our son. Nothing changed from before we knew Isaac had FXS to after we knew he did. "He is still our son. Nothing has changed."

He was right. And now we don't think about what it was like before because it is all meshed into what is now. Thinking back, I know God prepared me in hundreds of ways for this. Others are not as lucky as me to have a pioneer like my sister to do the hardest work. But it is still hard.

But at this time as my family remembers the day we found out another in our family has FXS, that my brother had his precious still-born son, and when dear Grandma Ruby, my last grandparent, passed away, it is also a time to remember all the tender mercies and love. And I remember, that, as Elder Holland has stated, that you are never so low, so deep, that the light of the atonement cannot shine down upon you.

I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father, Savior, Family, and friends that help me through the hard times and help me realize that life is so wonderful and I am deeply blessed.

Merry Christmas!