I Have A Dream

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day I thought I'd write my own speech:) Cmm Cmm.

I Had A Dream
My son would grow up and play sports
Get high honors
Go on Dates with great girls
Go to college and graduate
Get married in the temple
serve a full-time mission....

But sometimes our dreams change. We remember what is most important

I Have A Dream

My son will have friends that will love and respect him
           He will enjoy day to day life
                      He will make others happy
                                Serve a mission with Jeremy and I and/or service mission
          Have a sense of independence
   Jeremy and I (and a whole lot of others) will build a home for those with Fragile X Syndrome                     where they can live and be happy, especially when their parents and other care givers have                      passed on.

And one thing I am happy to know is that I never have to worry if he will reach the Celestial Kingdom. I just have to worry that I can tag along on his coat-tails;)

All In His Hands/To Glorify The Lord

Isaac is fifteen months (almost), but does not know that mama is me or that dada is Jeremy. He is starting to make more sounds, but yaya is his favorite.

 He has a speech therapist now that will be coming every other month and more as he gets older. I bet you never thought a fifteen month old would have a speech therapist, eh?

It is hard not to get overwhelmed. I think just about anyone can say that, though. I know I'm not the only one:)

Sometimes I pretend....

I have this world where I go when I am so overwhelmed and stressed. (no I'm not crazy...well, maybe a little) It's a place where I can make a craft, improve my talents, go on a date, and have fun without feeling guilty.

I pretend sometimes that Isaac really is a regular little kid and that he is going to grow up, serve a full-time mission to Italy, get married in the temple to a wonderful woman, and have me some grandkids! And then I don't have to feel bad that I didn't work on his skills. I don't have to think, "Wow, I'm a bad mom and now he is going to fall even further behind because I didn't

-walk with him

-teach him sign language

-talk to him enough

-do puzzles

-whatever the long list of to-dos is.

So yes, sometimes I pretend so that I don't have a total break down/overload. I can just let my child grow up and figure things out on their own like most kids seem to.

Sometimes I wake up to reality with optimism. Sometimes I wake up to the despair. 

However, each day is a new one. 

And although Isaac seems to spend most of the days crying and needing my constant attention, 

I just tell myself that I can do hard things, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and that "all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name's glory, saith the Lord." I just remember that all this is for God's Glory. 

Because it makes me stronger

             more patient

                      more understanding

                                more willing to do the Lord's will

                                             And More willing to always remember Him

"...your families are well; they are in mine hands, and I will do with them as seemeth me good; for in me there is all power.

"Therfore, let our hearts be comforted; for all things shall work together for good..." (D&C 100)

And that's when I just give it ALL up to Him.

Another One..and updates

Well, Isaac has another one. Another therapist, that is. I'm interested to see how this one goes. She is a speech therapist. Isaac hasn't said much yet except ya-ya, ma-ma, and da-da but they don't mean anything to him yet.

He is getting better at walking. He has taken 2-3 steps from me to Jeremy. 

I'm not sure if he understands a whole lot. He will imitate things pretty well now but will not usually do anything you just say to him. I haven't had much luck with sign language, at least not yet.

He eats more than Millie and sometimes as much as me. He's a piggy but he looks like a string bean. I hope he is always a good eater! Cross your fingers. There are some things he cant eat, like eggs, meat, slippery noodles, babanas if they are chopped up, etc. His tongue doesn't cooperate with these.

 He still gags a lot and often throws up, but luckily its not like when he had the flu. 

He is understanding concepts more, like simple puzzles and shape sorting but does not yet have the focus or coordination. But soon. Its an emerging skill.

Cutie. Love this kid.

Beans and BONKIE-HEAD

Amelia always asks "Bonkie head?" Which translated means "did he bonk his head?" Isaac hits his head so much (or gets hit by Millie) that we have made his new nickname BONKIE-HEAD. SO now we have Millie beans (she even calls herself that)and Bonkie-head. Beans and Bonkie.
What? :)

Gotta love it

different trial

Some look at me and my family with little Isaac and see the "obvious trial." But there are many things that aren't so obvious-just like everyone else. And as I've talked to everyone else it's been made clear that we all have difficult challenges, none greater than another's. But I will say at that having a child with special needs is a different challenge, one that is not really understood.

However, there are many I feel are much harder and different in their own ways.
For those that have a more obvious trial,  the pity isn't worth the pain. And many don't want the pity anyway.

But oh how I have found the most common and tender ground as people open up to me-because they now know I will understand. And it helps me to not feel so alone and get out of the bubble.

My sister, Rachael, Is my rock- the balm of understanding, the wealth of knowledge.

Of course, my Savior has been many companion through it all. The atonement has healed many heart so many times and led me

to happiness each day.

Some relate special needs children to having a death in the family. I now see how true that is as I've finally discovered I went through the grieving cycle. And as the one year mark came I had another spout like an open wound. Realizing this fact,however,makes me realize I'm normal and not going crazy. And I don't have to just get over it. And it is okay to be happy and so have a fulfilling life.

I must say,though,if Isaac is my hardest trial, it sure is a happy one. Couldn't ask for a better refiners fire. Love this little guy.

Potty!

Guess what? Isaac went on the potty! Ha ha! He is 14 months old. Millie has been potty training off and on forever but I'm ready so this is it! I thought she would want to go of she saw Isaac on the potty. She tries to be like a baby sometimes  since becoming an older sister.
I didn't expect Isaac would actually go! It was a big deal and part of me wants to run with itbecause I know potty training for FXS ers is not easy and doed not come till later.

The good news is,one day later Amelia went!first time ever! Now she tells Isaac "go poo on the potty, Isaac"