Help on all sides

I think Isaac knows that Daddy is on a trip because he has been so hard! He doesn't sleep well at night, if at all. I'm debating whether it is time for some medicine or whether this is just a stage he is going through. I don't want to give him anything so young, so I'm waiting it out. I haven't gone crazy...yet.
He has had multiple meltdowns. It may be several things. Not getting rest, not being in routine, etc. etc.
We've had a few doozies. I don't think a day has gone by since Jeremy left that I haven't cried twice. I feel like a little kid. It's ridiculous.
Little things have been getting to me.

For example, at church this week I took Isaac in for nursery just because he wouldn't let me be anywhere else. I know he is still young, but I realized that he IS going to be the one that is different, harder, one that needs more care. And I wonder how the Primary will handle it. Are they as nervous about it as I am?
He can't sit up in his chair. He doesn't hold still. He is easily overwhelmed. He cannot color or even hold a crayon (he just eats it). He will do great at playing with the toys, though! That's good. Hopefully this walking business will work out by eighteen months.

It's hard when you try all that you know how to do but they are so far gone that nothing helps and you just have to keep trying, keep being patient. They other day I decided that my patience came from Heaven because I don't know how I just kept loving, rocking, singing, etc. I did however break down and cry for a few minutes. That's better than getting angry. I really wasn't angry, though. I was flustered, spent, at a loss, worn out, tired...

These are the times when I see so many gathering around to help me. I have had so much help, love, and support from friends, family, and neighbors these past few days. It's been amazing. Even those that don't know he is gone are reaching out. Maybe it's because they visibly see I'm on the brink of melting down myself or just because they are inspired. Both.

But I'll tell you what, there are angels here and beyond the veil helping me through it all. And it 's not just now, but it's been this way every day of my life. And my whole life has prepared me for these moments.

I've had some of the scariest, hardest, yet most spiritual and uplifting few days.

I want to share something one of my dear loved ones shared with me by Elder Holland,

If you are the one afflicted or a caregiver to such, try not to be overwhelmed with the size of your task. Don’t assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to “stand still” or “be still”—and wait. ⁶ Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education.
For caregivers, in your devoted effort to assist with another’s health, do not destroy your own. In all these things be wise. Do not run faster than you have strength. ⁷ Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide, you can offer your prayers and you can give “love unfeigned.” ⁸ “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; … [it] beareth all things, … hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.” ⁹Also let us remember that through any illness or difficult challenge, there is still much in life to be hopeful about and grateful for. We are infinitely more than our limitations or our afflictions!.... 
I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be! I do not know whether we will be happier for ourselves that we have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully perfect and finally “free at last.” ¹² Until that hour when Christ’s consummate gift is evident to us all, may we live by faith, hold fast to hope, and show “compassion one of another,”
All, I can say is...it will all be worth it:)  

Thanks everyone!